How to Say Sorry in Chinese: 5 Ways to Apologize (And When to Use Each)

In English, "sorry" has to do a lot of work. You say it when you bump into a stranger, and you say it when you've genuinely let someone down, even though those are very different levels of "sorry." Mandarin doesn't ask one phrase to cover that whole range. Instead, it has a small set of apology words, each tied to a specific level of how sorry you actually are.

That's good news for learners. Once you know the hierarchy, you'll stop sounding either too casual for a real mistake or way too dramatic over a small one, a mix-up that trips up a lot of beginner and intermediate students the first time they encounter it in class.

The Levels of Sorry in Chinese (Quick Reference)

As a rule of thumb: the more formal and less frequent the phrase, the more serious the mistake it's meant for.

The Mildest Way to Say Sorry: 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi)

This one sits closer to "excuse me" than to "I'm sorry." Native speakers reach for it constantly: asking a stranger for directions, squeezing past someone on a crowded train, or interrupting a conversation to ask a quick question.

If you only learn one apology phrase for everyday travel or shopping, make it this one.

A Sincere Everyday Apology: 抱歉 (bàoqiàn)

抱歉 (bàoqiàn) carries more sincerity than 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) but is still light enough for daily use. It's the phrase for a genuine "my bad" that doesn't require groveling: showing up a few minutes late, missing a small work deadline, or turning down an invitation.

Think of it as the Mandarin equivalent of a sincere but ordinary "sorry about that."

When You're Really Sorry: 对不起 (duìbuqǐ)

对不起 (duìbuqǐ) is the heaviest of the three core apologies, reserved for situations where you've actually hurt someone or made a serious error. Because it carries so much weight, Chinese speakers tend to use it far less often than English speakers reach for "sorry." Pulling it out for a dropped fork would come across as oddly theatrical.

When you really need to own a mistake, you can intensify it:

That combination, acknowledging the apology and admitting fault, is usually enough to signal you understand the seriousness of the situation.

Casual "My Bad" Among Friends: 我的锅 (wǒ de guō)

我的锅 (wǒ de guō) literally translates to "my pot" (as in cooking pot), and it's internet slang for taking casual blame, basically "my bad" or "my fault." It grew out of Chinese online chat culture and now shows up constantly in text messages and group chats among friends.

Keep this one strictly for low-stakes situations with people you know well. It would land oddly in a work email or with someone you've just met.

Formal and Professional Apologies in Chinese

For workplace, client, or written communication, a step up in formality signals that you're taking the situation seriously:

These formal phrases, along with everyday apology vocabulary, show up in the listening and speaking sections of early HSK levels. If you want structured practice with them, our HSK Exam Preparation Program covers this kind of practical, situational vocabulary alongside exam prep.

How to Respond When Someone Apologizes to You

Knowing how to receive an apology matters just as much as knowing how to give one:

A quick example:

A: 抱歉，我把你的水杯打翻了。 (Bàoqiàn, wǒ bǎ nǐ de shuǐbēi dǎfān le. Sorry, I knocked over your water cup.)

B: 没关系，没事的。 (Méi guānxi, méi shì de. It's okay, no big deal.)

Cultural Notes: Why Chinese Apologies Work Differently

Two ideas shape how apologies actually play out in Chinese daily life:

面子 (miànzi), or "face." Apologies are often handled quietly rather than loudly. If a friend spills something on your shirt at a gathering, the smoother move is a quiet apology and an offer to help clean it up, not a big scene that draws attention and embarrasses everyone involved.

Maintaining harmony. The goal of an apology isn't usually to establish who was "right." It's to repair the relationship. Taking responsibility and offering to make things right, like replacing a broken item, tends to matter more than debating fault.

For learners, the practical takeaway is that sincerity and context carry as much weight as picking the technically correct word.

FAQ

How do you say sorry in Chinese?

It depends on how serious the situation is: 不好意思 (bùhǎoyìsi) for minor bother, 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) for everyday apologies, and 对不起 (duìbuqǐ) for real mistakes. Getting this right is a common focus early on in Mandarin study, since tone and context matter as much as the word itself.

What's the difference between 对不起 and 不好意思?

对不起 (duìbuqǐ) is a strong, formal apology for serious situations, while 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) is mild and everyday, closer to "excuse me." Native speakers use 对不起 far less often than English speakers use "sorry," saving it for real fault.

Is 对不起 too strong for small mistakes?

Generally yes. Using 对不起 (duìbuqǐ) for something minor, like a small bump or brief delay, can come across as overly dramatic. 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) or 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) fit better for everyday situations, while 对不起 is for apologies that carry real weight.

How do you respond to someone apologizing in Chinese?

Common responses include 没关系 (méi guānxi, "it's okay"), 没事 (méishì, "it's nothing"), and 不用道歉 (bùyòng dàoqiàn, "no need to apologize"). These reassure the other person without dwelling on the moment.

What's a casual way to say "my bad" in Chinese?

我的锅 (wǒ de guō), literally "my pot," is internet slang for "my bad" or "my fault." It's common among friends in relaxed settings but doesn't fit formal or professional apologies.

Where can I learn practical Mandarin phrases like these beyond just apologies?

Connect Mandarin's courses focus on situational, everyday vocabulary alongside exam prep, so phrases like these are taught in the context you'd actually use them, not just as a vocabulary list to memorize. The HSK Exam Preparation Program is a good starting point if you want structured, classroom-tested practice.

Is Connect Mandarin good for beginners who don't know any Chinese yet?

Yes, Connect Mandarin's programs are built to take learners from the basics, including everyday expressions like apologies and greetings, through to exam-level proficiency, with instructors who tailor pacing to each student's starting point.

Does Connect Mandarin teach real-life usage or just textbook Chinese?

Connect Mandarin emphasizes practical, real-life usage, the kind of phrasing native speakers actually use day-to-day, rather than only textbook Mandarin. That's why nuances like the difference between 不好意思 and 对不起 are taught explicitly, not left for students to pick up on their own.